All right... so the thing is that Commando is the very best movie. That's the thing. If you said, make a perfect action movie, I would hand you Commando and you would tell me that it is too silly and then I would tell you to go to hell because you didn't know anything about action movies and that you were full of shit and I could barely stand looking at you anymore. Then I would walk away from you. Absolutely disgusted. If there is something wrong with a man single-handedly obliterating a private army to save his daughter, well... I'm curious as to what kind of world you live in. And I hope I never get sucked into such a terrible place where no one feeds deer from their hands and smug psychopaths wearing chain mail run wild with no one to keep them in check. My days of telling people that their opinions are wrong and they are stupid and should probably just go fly a kite are over. People dislike being told to fly kites. They will cry. But I will tell someone to fly a kite if they disagree with me about this movie. That is how hard I get about this movie. So let's just all go... and rest easy that the best action movie has already been made and we'll just use all that action movie money to make pornography or action/pornography. DONE.
Vernon Wells just came all over you.
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