Avatar - 2009 - Dir. Cameron

You know, it's real easy to pick on James Cameron. Because he's really dumb. But hey, he must be doing something right. The man can now pull the US out of the financial crisis if he wanted to do. But clearly from Avatar, he does not want to. This is a rare movie that makes you really wanna stick it to the human race. Not because it offers strong arguments and stirs us emotionally, but because Giovanni Ribisi is our spokesperson. We really got the short end of the stick on that one. So, how does this overhyped blockbuster fare? Well, like any overhyped blockbuster, it ends up just being like a normal blockbuster, just flashy. And YES, it is flashy. It's not incredible. To me, it was a bit of an accomplishment that he was able to sell such bland and unimaginative design to me. It's not quality as far as creativity goes, but quantity as far as details go. The story... though. It's pretty simple (read: stupid), but I really don't hold that against it. It's Dances with Wolves, The New World, uh... those kinds of movies. Just it's out in theaters again. It's for the most amount of people as possible. And there's more children then anyone else and that's just something we have to accept. So, Unobtanium is... uh... that's a thing. A proper noun. You could call it. I was pretty shocked. I mean... Unobtanium... But no, no. I'll accept it. It sorta opened a floodgates for me, because I swore they kept using the term: Flux Flector. Hey, if he can make up one ridiculous word, my mind is just going to run with it. The movie isn't for me. I'll take my Impossibilitium jokes and go. In case you couldn't tell, the bar was pretty low for me. In fact, the bar was resting peacefully on the floor, at home, where I left it before leaving for the theater. I hold no nostalgia for James Cameron. He was making movies I was interested in for a minority of my life. Most of my life, he was just basking in Titanic. I'm not going to hold the man's ability to make a lot of money off a simple story against him. Hell, that's basically his job description. I like Stephen Lang, though.

James is showing What's His Face where the Special Effects will be. DDDUURRRR!!!

The Terminator - 1984 - Dir. Cameron

All right, so I sorta have seen this movie. I had chunks of it. Mostly the end... I dunno, I guess I saw it when I was a kid on TNT or something (LIKE RANSOM!). It was a Netflix Play It Now option and I was just "HEY! Why not?" I never really felt like I had the Terminator experience. Also I was told Michael Biehn had glowing pants. HE DID NOT! At least, I didn't see any. It's a little strange to talk about the movie because its so engrained into my cultural sense. I mean, you just KNOW the Terminator will be back to drive his truck through the wall. It's just a thing to do, you know! I had forgotten about the sweet 80's era special effects: STAN WINSTON! Back when a fake looking rubber face was just as good as a real one. You know, the thing about 80's special effects was that it sort of allowed us to open up and explore the human body in a fantastic way. What with Arnold dicking around with his inner mechanics in the most casual of ways. I do enjoy a nice deconstruction of a person and NOTHING is more terrifying than Arnold without eyebrows! I also kind of like the "It Made Itself" reasoning in the film. John Conner is Reese's pop. I had remembered that detail but I watched the film, it dawned on me that I was watching the origin of the conflict as well as the climax. Reese's and the Terminator's trip to the past planted the seeds for the conflict that would send them back to the PAST! At first, I was so mad at that reasoning and then I started remembering that time wasn't linear and then tried to figure out TIME. And then I remembered I was watching Terminator and ALL WAS RIGHT. Also, I was very happy to see Lance Hendrickson.

Evenin' ladies and gentleman! How's everybody doin' tonight?