Everything is Illuminated - 2005 - Dir. Schreiber

Having a strict "Don't pay any attention to my Heritage" policy, I didn't really think I would connect with Everything is Illuminated. And I didn't. But, hey, it was still a pretty good movie. It's a lot funnier than you would expect a Holocaust discovery movie to be. And yeah, I know it's been years since Roberto Beninieeni became a Concentration Camp Clown but I still think it's reasonable for a Holocaust movie to crack jokes. And not Mime jokes. John Holmes dick jokes. I'm just saying I appreciate the light-heartedness the movie kicks our way now and then. On the other hand, like I said, I wasn't really connecting terribly with anything going on drama wise. Schreiber who actually does a really great job for the most part, kind of dropped the ball for me as far as drama was concerned. He seemed a little too on the nose for me (but maybe I just have that issue with a lot of people). I'm not sure I ever felt very strongly about the Collecting and his own emotional stock in everything. I didn't know what to make of it and the movie acts confidently as if I should. I really liked Eugene Hutz in general in the film and I thought his own naivete was probably more interesting than a lot of the other business going on in the film.

I have to admit. It is WEIRD to see him without a moustache!

Extract - 2009 - Dir. Judge

I suppose Extract was what I expected. Maybe it was a little more grounded than I expected. Most of the real goofy hi-jinks come from Ben Affleck and anyone he brings into the movie. Affleck fits in with these movies like a glove though. In fact, I might go as far to say that the film is basically perfectly cast. No one is really stretching their acting chops, but everyone knows the part they have to play. Even David Koechner (a man who doesn't easily win me over) gave me some hearty laughs. I don't mind that the movie isn't exactly original. It's just nice to see a Mike Judge movie. He can make a damned charming movie. Additionally, I don't know why, but considering so much of the movie involves testicles, I expected the humor to be intensely low-brow. Most of the testicle humor ends up being people looking off thoughfully. In general, Judge is just damned good at little off-beat moments. If someone telling someone else to close the door makes me laugh, that's probably a good sign. I even like Judge's cameo as a Deus Ex Machina Union Organizer. It's a silly movie. Not outrageously funny, but entertaining in the Mike Judge fashion.

It's less amusing when you realize Simmons has jammed his fingers through Bateman's neck and up out of his skull.

The Tenant - 1976 - Dir. Polansky

This is my first Roman Polansky film in a long while. I think I saw Rosemary's Baby before I should have and the generally over-hyped The Pianist. I suppose The Tenant has everything I would like to see in a movie like this, it's paranoid, strangely humorous, consistant dips into the surreal. It's natural the pacing is a bit slow. Polansky actually makes for a great protagonist. He's a little wormy, a little shy, a little creepy. He's pretty capable of guiding us through this man's degeneration. The film is pretty open-ended as to what has gone on. I assume that the character was nuts as all hell. There's some fairly Kobo Abe-esqe implications in the ending. I always have a soft spot for finding teeth in mysterious holes in the walls, as well. We have a solid enough sense of reality with his friends to make up for the truly weird and suspicious actions of his house mates. Even his eventual transformation into the previous occupant is done pretty slyly. It felt like a gripping enough thriller. It may have been a little disappointing if I was looking for some solid hardcore answers as to why what was going on, and there may have very well been some answers hidden throughout the film. They weren't terribly apparent in MY opinion though.

YEEEAAAHHH ISABELLE ADJANI!

Gosford Park - 2001 - Dir. Altman

I had heard a lot about Gosford Park before I saw it. Mostly, I was just informed of it being REALLY confusing. I have to see, even with all the warning: DAMN, this movie is confusing. I suppose it IS one of those films that is a little more interesting to read about than to really see. I read that the film is more about the surface impressions people make/leave rather than the complexities of their relationships. And that it was filmed with two cameras moving in opposite directions, so as too always capture a crowd and release a point of focus on the eyes. The idea of surface relationships make the film SEEM more interesting. It's not a bad movie, by any means, although, I'm not entirely sure that I will want to watch it again. The cast is perfectly decent. And the basic premise of the murder mystery is quite fun. In fact, I'm sure the film ended up being exactly the way Altman wanted it to be. I just don't know how much I really liked it. But damn it, I have to respect it. I HAVE TO!!!!

The Queen's Personal Royal Buttwaxers

Inglourious Basterds - 2009 - Dir. Tarantino

I have sort of funny feelings about this movie. One the one hand, there are some pretty awesome parts and the whole idea is pretty clever. Who am I to not get behind a spaghetti western set in WWII? Additionally, Christoph Waltz and Melanie Laurent are absolutely incredible. Every scene Waltz is in is mesmerizing. And is easily a key part of my favorite moments. I feel like the weakest moments of the film are the scenes WITH the Basterds. Which I can't help but feel a little surprised by. There's an aimless, pointless feeling to what their doing and plotwise, that kind of becomes the case and their scenes drag a little because of it. While Tarantino is good at the individual scenes, the film doesn't feel like it congeals as well as it could. Especially as the plot picks up, the film becomes less interesting. Tarantino tries to spice it up now and then but often times it feels stilted. Tarantino's love the multiple storylines also seems to work against him. It becomes quickly muddled and I feel like some of the more clever bits became lost in the story telling. To some degree, I felt a little deflated by the time the movie reached the climax. Some fun moments and strong scenes, but in the end, a little disappointing.

Nazi's LOVE getting cards on their heads!

Maniac Cop 2 - 1990 - Dir. Lustig

Maniac Cop 2 is the Maniac Cop movie that Maniac Cop should have been. Yeah, I loved that sentence too. But truer words have not been spoken. I was shocked too. I knew my man BC was gonna get it in this one at the beginning (see below) but he has a WAY more spirited performance in his few scenes than the entire original. He has more that smarm we've come to expect from him. That's not to say the man's skillz are limited to Smarm, it's just you don't see smarm like that everyday. The film is definitely more interesting, even containing a scene where a woman hangs out of a car while hand cuffed to the steering wheel. It's an awesome/ridiculous sequence. There's no doubt the movie has more of a budget than before and the movie utilizes it fantastically. Most of it probably going to Danny Trejo to deliver his one line. Or Charles Napier's one scene. We're also treated to a Bearded Rapist subplot that, in my opinion, works terrifically and links together with the main storyline with DELIGHTFUL consequences! The movie moves swiftly, keeping a lovely brisk pace and ending under half an hour. The movie was just real good at hitting expectations. It doesn't exceed them by any means. But in this day and age, it's nice to see a simple Maniac Cop movie do what it's supposed to.

Man! I am EXHAUSTED!

The Secret Garden - 1993 - Dir. Holland

It's certainly a nice enough looking film, I'll give The Secret Garden that much. I don't mean to sound like the movie has nothing going for it. I can't help but have a little bit of issue with a movie that involves THIS much time spent with obnoxious children. It could be worse, though, we are lucky that the girl who plays Mary Lennox is capable. Perhaps it also has to do with the film lacking a bit of focus, or maybe my just basic disinterest of whether or not Colin Craven gets better. The more charming parts of the film are those characters who play supporting roles to our "main kids." Dickens, probably the most charming character, is a kind of strange second-banana, being that he doesn't outwardly complain about anything. I suppose there's a little something to be said for the message of "surrounding yourself with death and decay brings only that." I suppose just in general the execution feels a little mundane. I wanted to be taken away more than I was. We end up SEEING what happens, but I didn't feel like we were really exploring much. Just being swept to the next scene. I would have preferred a more visual movie than a narrative. But hey, it's a kids movie.

Awww DAMN! When Mary Lennox got that face on: You KNOW we're in for OLD SCHOOL MISCHIEF!