RoboCop 2 - 1990 - Dir. Kershner

I had basically written off RoboCop 2 because... well... It's RoboCop 2. There's no way it could even compete with the beloved first film. I knew what RoboCop 3 was like so I just figured it was more like that. But... you know... I had a really great time with this movie. It's... It's basically just like the first one except not as good. But REALLY... the movie take the exact same path. Same kind of conflict and villains. Similar tone. At times, it was a little surprising how closely they mirrored each other. If anything... there's less RoboCop... which is a good thing and a bad thing. It's a Bad Thing because the movie seems to get distracted by all the ridiculous/fun bullshit in it and then remembers there is supposed to be a Robotic Cop somewhere and they just toss him in. It's a Good Thing because RoboCop is a lot sillier in this one. In fact, it works best when they are making RoboCop jokes. I feel like the Sound Design had a little to do with it. RoboCop just SOUNDS less serious, less mechanical, less heavy, which makes his outfit look like plastic with a guy doing a funny walk in it. The best way I state this is like this: Kurtwood Smith's Boddicker is great... Perfect even... Tom Noonan's Cain? Sure, it's not as good. BUT HELL, let us not stick out noses up at Tom Noonan. He's pretty great too. Also there's that goofy murderous kid in it... who is such a piece of shit... I can't help but smile at that idea and how far they really run with it. OH MAN! And that Little League team... That made me laugh... It's just a silly-ass movie, you guys!

You tell that Dead Idiot who is boss, RoboCop 2!!

Trees Lounge - 1996 - Dir. Buscemi

Man... This movie. I dunno. First off, it bummed me out and not really in a way that felt good. Like... thinking about the ending just depresses the hell out of me. It's not like overly sad or anything, but it's just like... Man... C'mon, Steve... So you know... It's put together well. Which makes it especially impressive that Buscemi directed and wrote it. That guy is so good at doing all different kinds of things! That being said... Despite my admission that the film provoked an emotional reaction, I can't say I was a huge fan. I think partially I never really jibed with mid-ninties american indie dramas or what have you. I get kinda bored. And a lot of the time I think they're goofy. I dunno... Anthony LaPaglia as a mechanic and he's always arguing with Buscemi... it just seems silly to me. It doesn't really bring anything new to the table. It just does it's job really damn well. Chloe Sevigny is pretty great in it, though. But I think she's pretty great in a lot of things. Actually, the cast has a bunch of neat people in it! So that's a cool thing. So I can't exactly say I would want to watch it again, but I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who's all into 90's indies and whatnot. Or if you want to watch Steve Buscemi be real sad. And then creepy. OH MAN! And that Barfly pictured below... that fucking guy...

:(

Cronos - 1993 - Dir. Del Toro

I think I meant to watch the Devil's Backbone because as soon as I saw Ron Perlman, I was all "Oh, I've seen this one." But you know, I'm glad I re-watched it. I remember thinking it was pretty good when I first saw it back in college but clearly not much stuck with me. Except Ron Perlman's awful gray outfit... and his Charming Demeanor. I'm not a huge Hellboy fan but I get pretty excited about Del Toro's other movies. I feel like they're horror movies for adults but there's so much in it that is reminiscent of fairy tales and often times a child's perspective. I dunno, they make for really pleasant viewing experiences as fully grown man suffering from arrested development. First of all, it should be no surprise that Ron Perlman is terrific in this. It's funny because his character often feels like an aside. Or a henchmen with too much screen time. BUT HE'S SO GREAT! I think maybe he sort of overshadows how solid of a horror movie it is. Del Toro is so good at bringing a nice touches like Pearlman's character or the backward suit which balance out Luppi's controlled performance and just a well crafted "classic feel" of a horror story. Luppi is awesome. The whole film has such little dialogue and Luppi knows just how much to express. He holds his cards so tightly and lets just the right amount sneak through at the right points. If anything, sometimes the ending feels a little anticlimactic but for the most part: A fine viewing!

This creep just loves gum.

The Castle - 1997 - Dir. Haneke

I think this was being taken off Netflix so I popped it on. I like Haneke. He seems to enjoy making movies with neat hooks but remain interesting throughout. Often challenging. And you know... Kafka's all right, I guess. Haneke's style mesh really well. It's kind of a strange movie to comment upon because, like the book, it ends mid sentence. And it kind of drones on... so without an ending, you feel like you just witnessed a series of pointless events. Or at least... the movie is repetitive. We watch K bang his head against the bureaucracy of in several different forms. Then it ends. We could play the game where watching the movie could mirror K's experience. But I don't feel like playing that game, even though, you know... I wouldn't be surprised by Haneke pulling that. The movie is fun (to me) though. I like watching that kind of conflict a Man against an overly complicated system. Haneke is more subtle than others, the system doesn't visually loom and scream at K. It crawls. We're treated to several walking sequences. Back and forth. Characters shift spasmodically at times. There are plenty of Funny Games alum about which is fun to see (Plenty meaning three). If this sounds like its up your alley, it probably is. It was up mine. I like Haneke can make a hell of a movie, so there!

Am I in Funny Games, right now?

Don't Be A Menace - 1996 - Dir. Barclay

You know, I remember this movie from back when... but I never really showed any interest in it. A general bias against the Wayans, I suppose. Well founded if we take the Scary Movie series into stock. I ended up watching it simply because I've recently moved to Los Angeles and for some reason it seemed appropriate. I was in the mood for silliness. AND MAN it delivered. I had a fine time watching this. Maybe I just thought Shawn Wayans overly naive and mild protagonist was funny as hell. That guy... and the repeated jokes about his Dad just charmed the shit out of me. It's pretty upfront about being a parody. The plot is secondary to them just making sure they get every stereotypical sequence out of the mid-80s to 90's street gang movies. So I suppose... it's not well-made in the traditional sense. It resembles the modern Family Guy style parodies that we have been getting, but it just feels less churned out. It feels like they are amusing themselves rather than mugging at the camera. At times, I wish maybe it felt a little tighter... maybe a few less winks for the audience (yeah, they do do SOME mugging [I guess I'm just not a huge fan of mugging!]). But overall, I got a real kick outta the movie. Maybe I'll rethink my feelings about the Wayaneseseseseses.

The Frame of the movie Bernie Mac is in.

BASEketball - 1998 - Dir. Zucker

Despite not having kept up with them in the recent years, I'm a big fan of Parker and Stone's work. This merely has them as actors and their influence sneaks in but the film is clearly a Zucker production. I feel like I always have to be a little easy on Zucker due to his involvement with Naked Gun and Airplane but I'm generally less amused by his more recent attempts. BASEketball is more of the same (looking at his filmography, this is probably the last one I'd bother seeing). It's got the corny Naked Gun-style jokes and Parker and Stone blend well with it. One might even say, it's seemless! But I feel like overall it's very much "Medium" entertainment. Probably what I enjoyed most was Parker constantly going "Awww! Aww!" In fact, both of their performances are probably the high point of the film. You know, I like puns and idiocy as much as the next guy, I just wished the movie tried a little harder on the story-telling front. There's almost no kind of tension or conflict... or, at least, any kind of substantial conflict. It's generally just a lot of goofy stuff and rich old mean guy. It's likable and if you want to round out your Parker/Stone viewing experience... well, I imagine you've already seen it.

Both of you... Stop having that hair!

Waterworld - 1995 - Dir. Reynolds

Notable flop, Waterworld seemed engrained in my memory as the first movie I remember that was a joke. I'd never seen it, but it's infamy seemed to nag at me all these years and so I took advantage of it's Watch Instant status. Naturally, it's not as bad as it's built up to be. It's actually surprisingly capably done at times considering all the poo-poo that is said about it. The problem is that it's just boring as hell. I don't give a good god-damn about Kevin Costner in this movie. And he doesn't want us to care about him! Most of the other characters exhibit similar levels of apathy. And you know, I didn't care for Dennis Hopper as the villain. And I love a good Dennis Hopper. BUT EVEN HE WAS BORING! I needed him to be a little more evil... a little wackier. He just seemed crabby, disgruntled. In fact, the high point was Kim Coates playing more of a nut than he already does. But the movie just kind of trudges along (or wades...) scene after scene. There's a vague search for land but clearly that's just an excuse for Costner to bond with the kid and Tripplehorn (Both of which are in Big Love!). The bonding is about as generic as you would expect from a movie like this. It has some nice action sequences. I won't lie. And some nice post-apocalyptic sets. I wouldn't go out of my way to say you should see it, but it's a reasonable distraction.

It's WATERWOOOORRRRRRRRRRLLLLLDDDD!!!!

Citizen Ruth - 1996 - Dir. Payne

You know, I kind of expected this to be a bit of a bomb. It's RISQUE subject matter as well as Payne's directorial debut gave me the feeling I would be watching a big mess of a film. That was not the case! In fact, out of all of his movies, I feel like this is the most impressive. It's not easy to make a movie about abortion funny while maintaining seriousness without getting bogged down with issues. Laura Dern's Ruth floats above all the bickering and morals issues tagged to her pregnancy and I feel like we float above it with her. Dern does an awesome job making Ruth likable too. It's easy to look down on the paint huffing simpleton at first, but I found myself rooting for her by the end. Considering the nutcases she's surrounded by, Dern may have had some of the work cut out for her. Kurtwood Smith and Mary Kay Place (I love them both) as well as Swoosie Kurtz and Kelly Preston are excellent extremes. Payne is good at having crazies never be too crazy. They aren't caricatures exactly, but they are larger than life. There's a general unevenness in the script though... I think especially with Tippi Hedren's character who seems completely pointless and more of a polar opposite of Burt Reynold's ridiculousness (AN AWESOME CAMEO). I suppose I can see why the movie isn't as big as it could be... It lacks catchy hooks, I suppose. Memorable characters. Payne is so quiet with his comedy sometimes. It's a real shame, though. It's really strong satire... I'm sure there's plenty of chuckles to be had in several viewings. And it has M.C. Gainey in it! WHO IS THE BEST.

Laura Dern doing her David Lynch impersonation.

Princess Mononoke - 1997 - Dir. Miyazaki

It'd been a while since I saw this last. It was the first of a new wave of Miyazaki to flood our shores, purchased by Miramax and getting all Billy Bob Thorton-ed up. I was surprised by how mature the movie can be at times. In fact, it's depiction of the pull and pull of mankind between nature is particularly done well, lacking any definitive victor, it leaves us to see that this is an ongoing process. It doesn't exactly feel emotionally uplifting when you want the antagonist to be punished, but I suppose that's where the maturity comes in. We can always beat up the bad guys. The "bad guys" aren't even that. There are clear evil acts but rarely are there outright evil characters (although Jigo is a real prick). Often times, Nature acts just as badly Man. But none of them act as badly as the American dub cast (A HA!). Especially Billy Bob Thornton. Probably, I would say that Billy Crudup and Minnie Driver are the bright spots which is thankful due to the size of their roles but despite the "star-studdedness" of the main cast it sounds mostly like a lot of phoning it in. I especially struggle with Anderson and the Wolf although I can't tell if it's her acting or just her voice clashing with the strange movements of wolf's mouth. But whenever she spoke I was immediately distracted. It's a modern classic of anime, with strong storytelling, and even paced well considering its length. It's accessible enough for anyone who isn't well versed in anime and can still please the well-initiated. And what anime would be complete without a giant blob creature?! NONE.

Ordinary life in Muromachi Japan

Friday - 1995 - Dir. Gray

You know, I liked this movie way more than I thought I would. It's pretty amusing... also somewhat unassuming which I feel is what helped it. As unassuming as a man having rough poops can be. The tone walks a really fine line between Cartoonish and Natural pretty well. A bit like how Ice Cube is Tucker's straight man. The more excited Tucker gets the blander Cube becomes. It is a necessary bland though. Although, I'm not sure it was the character as much as Ice Cube's acting ability. He seems somewhat uncomfortable in front of the camera, sometimes, usually when he had to be casual. But to be completely honest, I was even pretty involved with his character by the end, which for me is rare. I just wanted Ice Cube to kick some ass like his Daddy taught him too. So he must have been doing something right/not doing that much damage. I also thought the Mother was especially good and somewhat underused. Tucker is amusing enough. He's not as bombastic as his later roles, but you know... he still does plenty of yammering. Bernie Mac pops up for an amusing scene, too. And Michael Clarke Duncan is in two shots! It's an amusing movie, I suppose better than the movies that followed it would have you believe.

Chris Tucker just saw himself in Fifth Element.

Wild at Heart - 1990 - Dir. Lynch

I've seen this before back in high school, at which point I got a hell of a kick out of it. As a Nicholas Cage fan, there's still a ton about this movie to be crazy about. It's a perfect role for Cage. Super campy, violent, loud, and a little bit like Elvis. The opening scene is the perfect summary of Nicholas Cage. BURSTING AT THE SEAMS. And probably as a Lynch film, it's definitely one of the more watchable ones. It inhabits the campy space of Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet. Where Lynch was weird but still telling a straightforward story at the same time. It probably helps that the movie is based off of a book. Like any Lynch film, a chunk of the movie is just weird people saying weird things (Jack Nance.) and as usual, Harry Dean Stanton is awesome. He's the most restrained weirdo ever. And actually is kind of sweet. Willem Dafeo must also be mentioned. When I looked back on the first viewing of the film, I couldn't remember much... but I certainly could remember Willem Dafoe. That creepy sonuvabitch with his awful teeth linger long after the movie has ended. That and Cage and Dern's awesome dancing. Lynch slips a ton of metal music in the film which is just a ton of fun mixed in with the Wizard of Oz references.

Always good advice.

Waco: The Rules of Engagement - 1997 - Dir. Gazecki

I was about seven when this whole Waco business went down and I can say I knew only generally of what went on up until recently. I watched this pretty randomly in an attempt to inform myself on the whole business. I picked it because it was on Watch Instantly, but I lucked out because apparently this is the more trusted of the spate of docs to come out on the subject. They seem to try to be pretty unbiased (everyone has their chance to look like a nutjob/douchebag), but they clearly do believe and want us to believe to some degree there was a cover-up. To be fair, it really does seem like the FBI and the ATF were total fucktards and probably did all kind of terrible shit and then tried to cover it up. The movie doesn't make Koresh into a martyr by any means. He also seems to be a fucktard of a lesser degree. He didn't gas and burn children alive or anything... Just... possibly/probably... molested them... so he's a still a pretty awful guy. So yeah, I'm kind of worked up about the whole thing because of this movie. Especially since I didn't know the details of how it ended. I was pretty shocked and horrified to a degree that I don't think a documentary had me feeling in a long time. It's pretty slow at first. For a chunk of time it's just clips of politicians being political (Biden and Chuck Schumer look like dick weasels!), but it ends up feeling like a key ingredient to this big shitty soup that happened in Waco. It's a pretty informative movie. Feels fact based and uses mostly footage and clips to tell the story. It's a wild ride.

Heard any good jokes recently?

Tombstone - 1993 - Dir. Cosmatos

I always sort of felt like it was my responsibility as a screenwriter who keeps writing westerns to see Tombstone. I hesitated because 1) I generally don't like most American or Modern westerns and 2) If it was good (Unforgiven), I would get all pissed. It's kind of like a lose-lose situation. What ended up convincing me was the cast. The movie is LITTERED with goofy ass actors I love to see pop up. Stephen Lang. Terry O'Quinn. Paul Ben-Victor!!! I'm tempted to just keep listing them, but I'll restrain myself. I feel like I could just yammer on excitedly about mildly popular 90's actors (BILLY ZANE!), so all I'll say is that it was a joy (A JOY!) seeing Powers Boothe be a evil douchebag in the Wild West again (I loved him in Deadwood). Anyway, I do feel tempted to point out, I don't think I actually really liked the movie that much. It was maybe fun for me to get excited about actors and there's some really exciting bits... but there's also a lot of boring crap and my excitement generally fizzled out after the O.K. Corral show down (which is a SWEET show down). Too much of the action is shown through montages of guns being fired and men yelling. Amusing in it's own right but I kinda wanted the pay off to be more than a little amusing. Michael Biehn is awesome though, probably the only thing that grabbed my interest after Kurt Russel's bad-ass/ridiculous "You called the thunder" speech. In fact, the movie is surprisingly silly considering how serious it seems to be taking itself and how long it is. It's too slow to be a fun action movie... but Sam Elliot is still fucking awesome and probably worth seeing. Oh and Val Kilmer is ridiculous. I will watch him do anything for any length of time.

Kurt Russel as Wyatt Derp (OMG LULZ!!! :D )

Naked Gun 2 1/2 - 1991 - Dir. Zucker

This movie is a classic for me. I've seen it a bunch of times. I dunno if its my favorite in the series. I think I've accidentally seen it more than the others though... Or maybe the third one. It's ridiculous! Sure, it's corny, stupid, and immature. BUT ITS TERRIFIC! It's Perfect! And Robert Goulet is in it! AND THAT'S THAT!!!!!!

:)

Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence - 1993 - Dir. Lustig

I have kind of a funny theory. The less Bruce Campbell is in the Maniac Cop trilogy. The better the film will be. NOW, I suppose that depends on your opinion of 2 and 3. But I feel like it would be tough to find someone who likes the first one more than the other two. First of all, Jackie Earle Haley is in Badge of Silence. He sorta a big deal nowdays, right? I don't know. It's a goofy movie, but it's entertaining as hell. It's got the perfect mix of fun and... I don't know... campiness. It's not like it's a real movie. But it's never so boring that you wish it would just end... It's just the perfect length. I mean, it's just a well-crafted B-movie. That's sort of the thing about Larry Cohen though. He's great at making these movies. I think he's a great writer. He can find the balance of the perfect tone. I dunno how much of Lustig's voice really fit into the picture. I haven't seen anything that hasn't been written bu Cohen. But it feels a lot like a top notch Cohen flick. Which is probably a compliment to Lustig, knowing the strengths of the script and the weaknesses. I mean, of course, things don't exactly make tons of sense. Like... SHIT IS RETARDED. But I had a great time watching the movie, I mocked it. But I feel like if you can't have a sense of humor about what's going on. You probably aren't the right audience.

I'm Ted Raimi, Reporting for the News.

Black Jack: The Movie - 1996 - Dir. Dezaki

I don't know a ton about Black Jack. I had no idea that the little girl sidekick was actually some kind of awful living tumor/parasitic twin. I mean, that wasn't a plot point or anything. In fact, I basically got along pretty well as far as understanding WTF was going on in this movie. That's the point I was making. ANYWAY, it was pretty entertaining, I suppose. Although, to be honest, I'm having difficulty recalling a ton about the movie and it's only been a handful of days since I saw it. I feel like I must have blacked out during the climax or something because I don't even remember what it is exactly. Prolly the most memorable thing are the medical/sickness sequences. Which I suppose is the focus of the anime anyway. There's a ton of people spewing blood. And HOT SURGERY ACTION. It follows Black Jack as he tries to help the Brain Company figure out why it's superhuman Olympians are going nuts. The "going nuts" sequences are pretty neat and the plot/story line is interesting and approachable enough. Naturally, there's all kinds of corporate dickery going on. At one point, Black Jack gets the Olympian disease and performs Olympic surgery. I mean, this is a movie about a rogue surgeon, so I'm not applying realism here at any point. There's a lot of Manga-esqe transitions and editing tricks. Some work really well and some end up being corny. I'd say it's half-and-half. At the end of the day, I'm glad they were there. So, I dunno, clearly it ends up being rather forgettable with some neat "hospital scenes."

Be careful, I'm a rogue surgeon.

Bugged - 1997 - Dir. Armstrong

Ehhhhhh... it's okay. It's a pretty harmless film, I suppose. Goofy. Nice enough nature. I don't watch a lot of Troma films but I'm under the impression this is somewhat standard fare. I mean, it looks supremely cheap and IS a dumb movie. But you know... It's about killer bugs. And all the exterminators stop their diorama competition to all get trapped in a house filled with ultra-smart mutant termites. I was pretty shocked when I saw that Diorama competition. You don't see a lot of Diorama humor these days. But in '97, man, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting someone telling a Diorama joke. There's also a joke involving uncooked chicken. GOLDEN. It kind of reminded me of movies I made in high school/college, like as you watch the movie, you're not like "Ahhh, I'm in capable hands, right now." I feel like a lot of the jokes or ideas in the movie might have ended up a little better if it was less... uh, Troma-y, I suppose.

The movie didn't have any screenshots, but you know... THE PREDATOR.

Candyman - 1992 - Dir. Rose

I was actually kind of surprised to like this. It's a shame it's sort of stored in our cultural memory in a kind of superficial way. I mean, It's not BRILLIANT. But I would say it's definitely an upper-tier slasher (a genre I feel sticks to the lower tier pretty regularly). First of all, an awesome amount of the film takes place in a rundown Projects. Candyman's "Lair" is terrific looking. It's spooky and an absolutely fascinating space. Rose gives us a lot of tiny details (Razor blades in candy) and some sweet graffiti. The whole atmosphere built around the Projects and the Upperclass intellectual v. lower class superstition is also handled surprisingly well. It felt fresh and more interesting than a lot of other horror films have managed. The movie does have a tendency to drag, and I don't think there are really any surprising elements in it. Maybe in 92, it might have been more surprising though. The end with the pyre is pretty awesome, I have to admit (at least in theory). I suppose in retrospect I'm enjoying it more than when I watched it, since I remember feeling pretty mild about it afterward. A lot of cool ideas, maybe a little aged?

Yeaaaahhh!!! Take it off, Tony!

Bad Girls - 1994 - Dir. Kaplan

I'm working on a movie that has a similar premise so I figured I should check it out. It's uh, well, it has Robert Loggia in it. That's always a thing that happens. It's also pretty boring. Badly structured. Kind of a waste of a neat premise. It sorta feels like everyone is busting out their mediocre game on this one. Jim Beaver from Deadwood is (sorta) in it. They start a whole plotline of Pinkertons and then just kind of send it away for the much more dull plotline involving... I dunno... Madeline Stowe and her stupid ass gangster ex-dude. I really would have rather followed the Pinkertons though. The plot should be fairly straightforward but it dicks around endless to get a decent running time or WHATEVER. Often times characters act in completely unreasonable ways, generally to create a situation where the movie can continue its endless dickery. I think Drew Barrymore might have been pretty good, I can't remember. Stowe doesn't really carry as the lead, or maybe the film just doesn't give her very much to work with. People are pretty fucking flat in it. And past the four main women, who I feel like we're only introduced to AFTER they're on the run, which seems just positively retarded. I couldn't figure out why James LeGros or Dermot were even in the fucking movie.

All right, I'll admit it. Barrymore has a pretty sweet hat.

Eraser - 1996 - Dir. Russell

Eh, it's okay, I guess. There are definitely better action films and even better action films with Arnold in it. It is mostly showcasing the type of gun you can see in the below picture... and that grenade that shoots screws. In fact, those're probably the most memorable things going on in the movie. James Caan gives an appropriately hammy performance. Although as hammy as it is, it gets a little dull after a bit mostly cause he's doing the same thing again and again. I'm a little thrown off my the climax, which sort of ends in a dissapointment and then the resolution makes it ALLLLL better. I feel like I would have rather just had a decent climax rather than a bunch of dudes falling. The Plane sequence is probably what grabbed my attention being that its completely ridiculous. Apart from that, there aren't really too many memorable set pieces. Sure, Caan and Arnold fighting on the container is cool, but it's mostly just Arnold getting beat with a pipe while Venessa Williams is overly helpless. So, I dunno. I don't think anyone would've really expected this to be that good anyway. So I would say Eraser does about everything you might expect it too... Is between 90 and 120 minutes and has action scenes in it. FEH!

Arnold holding TWO guns!? WHOOOAAAAAA!!!!!!