I knew Crank: High Voltage was going to be ridiculous. I knew it was going to be violent. I saw the first one. And I liked it. High Voltage is a bit of a different movie, though. A REAL DIFFERENT MOVIE. I don't really know how to describe it. They kind of prepare you for what the movie is going to be like, but I'm not sure nothing short of a thorough description will prepare you proper. The movie gleefully plays with the audience. Sometimes in some new and inventive ways or just some more tired but still pretty well executed (Like when Statham sees the cooler. Okay, sure mysterious stuff in a box has been done before, but Statham can sell that shit!) The movie maintains a level of silliness of violence/intensity throughout. I didn't get tired of the movie. I wasn't grossed out or disgusted by it. I had fun. I had a fuckload of fun. I mean, at one point, there's just a montage of text reading "FUCK YOU CHEV CHELIOS!" in all different colors and fonts. I mean, that's not just an action movie being over-the-top, that's an action movie behaving bizarrely and ridiculous. The film literally ends at the climax, with the resolution just occurring during the credits. There's a head being kept alive in a tank. Tons of big fat asses. A godzilla fight. The film basically throws reality our the door, and basically lets ANYTHING through the door in response. Literally every turn Chev makes in the film keeps him in a direct proximity of some kind of sex worker. The film is filed with cameos from Maynard James Keenan to a bunch of porn stars and Lauren Holly and fucking Chester Bennington. Mostly people videogame internet geeks would know (well, maybe not Lauren Holly). I do love watching Amy Smart though. That lady is cute and she certainly seems to have some pretty bitchin' timing. And a sense of humor too, but I don't really see how anyone could work on this movie without a sense of humor. It's too fucking ridiculous. Oh! And fucking Corey Haim is in the movie. What the fuck!? OH! And Mike Patton does the soundtrack and it SOUNDS like Mike Patton did the soundtrack, if that doesn't make the movie sound goofy enough.
FUCK YOU CHEV CHELIOS!
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