Formerly "A Movie A Day" :/

Friday, September 11, 2009

Mutant Chronicles - 2009 - Dir. Hunter

Having to keep my Thomas Jane streak going, I saw Mutant Chronicles. Mutant Chronicles is a stupid awful piece of crap with no redeeming value in any way shape or form. It is irredeemable. Thomas Jane doesn't even have any kids in the movie! Maybe that's why he's so sad, he has nothing to base his life upon. Oh and John Malkovich has a few scenes in the movie. It's pretty awful. Ron Perlman is a ridiculous mutant fighting monk. Who is also Scottish sometimes. The special effects are SOOOO bad. Oh, and you know? We only get ONE type of Mutant. And we meet that Mutant, right away. What's the fun in that? It's insane and has a blade for an arm? And stabbing guys is ALL IT DOES? So, I'm going to be in for a lot of low budget stabbing. MAN! I don't think Simon Hunter really knows how to direct a movie. Like there's no aspect of the movie that doesn't look like it was done ineptly. And man, it set up a sequel. Or maybe just a real bummer ending.

I have no kids to want back!

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